Literally, Genevieve Clare

Interior Decorating is Exhausting

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:01:00 -0500

Mom: Did you call me?
me: No.
Mom: I’m on my way home from a meeting with my new client. Where are you, still at work?
me: No Mom, I’m done for the day. Just relaxing at home.
Mom: Okay, well can you get in front of a computer?
me: You know I’m joking, right?
Mom: What do you mean?
me: I mean of course I’m still at work.
Mom: You are? Why?
me: Because its 4:52 pm in the afternoon.
Mom: IT IS!?!?!
me: Yes.
Mom: No it's not... oh my God, it is! I hate working again. I thought it was 6 o’clock. I’m so freaking tired. And starving! Are you kidding me? I left for this meeting forever ago.
me: Okay, this is one of those situations where I have to hang up on you now.

CHARLOTTE IS ALMOST HERE. I mean, just look at that munchkin...

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:15:00 -0500

CHARLOTTE IS ALMOST HERE. I mean, just look at that munchkin moving around! She can’t wait to get out and play with Winston.

I am so excited for Georgina and John, but mostly I’m excited for me. Jen and I are already brawling (slash comparing child CPR certifications) over who gets to babysit first.

I can’t wait to meet this beautiful wriggly little girl.

georgiegirlnyc:

Charlotte is up to something. She’s been busy nearly all day. WAY more than normal. As I type this, my bump is all out of shape.

I got a little bit on video.

Winston also barged his way on screen. Twice.

Dinner and a Show My friend Kate’s dad was in town this...

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 01:08:00 -0500

Dinner and a Show

My friend Kate’s dad was in town this weekend, so he graciously took us to a lovely dinner and to see The Miracle Worker, which opened two days ago and stars Abigail Breslin.

Before the play, we grabbed a bite next door at Toloache. Considering options around Broadway can sometimes be limited to Sbarros or TGIFridays, this place had a downtown vibe with delicious ceviche, tacos and fresh guacamole. If you’re ever catching a show, I highly recommend eating here first.

The Miracle Worker is the story of Helen Keller and is playing at the Circle in the Square theater. Abigail was amazing as Helen, but the real star was Alison Pill, who played her teacher. The acting was so eloquent and heartbreaking that I didn’t even get to use any of my HK jokes.

Sometimes I forget that NYC has so much to offer. I think I have a natural aversion to anything touristy in the city, so I rarely venture out of my neighborhood bubbles. I’m quite grateful that I had the opportunity to hustle up to Midtown on Friday night and take in a Broadway show.

These are my Tumblr crushes. Kate, Suze, Georgina Alishan,...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 23:52:00 -0500

These are my Tumblr crushes.

Kate, Suze, Georgina

Alishan, Tanya, Hollee

Meg, Veronica, Casey

If you like dogs, babies or funny people, you should be reading these blogs. I am a tumblr slut and have a lot of crushes that didn’t make this list, so I’ll post more of my favorites this week.

Also, there must be a glitch, because Dear Baby (Brent, Melissa and Everly) should certainly be up there.

Well That Was Awkward, Part 776

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:47:00 -0500

It’s been another long day at work. I was on a conference call until 3:45 pm, so I just got around to ordering lunch – two smoothies, because that’s what I wanted and one isn’t enough when you eat lunch at 4 pm (or any time). I drank them back to back, entirely too fast, to the point where I was shaking uncontrollably and my lips were shivering. But don’t worry! I had the perfect solution for this. There is a radiator in the women’s bathroom that is always on too high, and whenever I’m freezing, I go in there and act like I’m sitting by the fire. This is New York, people. Don’t judge me.

The radiator is in a corner and the backside is the part that releases all the heat, so I sort of had to huddle/straddle it to raise my core body temperature back to normal. We share the bathroom with other businesses on our floor and you have to use a key to get in, so you can hear someone coming. Therefore, I was fully prepared to pretend to start washing my hands if someone came in. Spoiler alert: This doesn’t end well.

I heard a key rattling, so I stood up quickly to turn around to the sink. BUT my pants leg got caught on the nozzle and turned it on full blast right as the woman walked in. I started screaming and trying to free myself as hot steam shot up my ankle and calf, while the rest of my body molested the radiator. The woman gasped and then promptly ran out of the bathroom as fast as she could. I screamed bloody murder for about 30 seconds and eventually wriggled my way free. I think we’re only dealing with a superficial burn wound.

So, I’m definitely ending up in the elevator with that woman on the way out tonight.

Also, Kate’s dad is taking us to see a Broadway play about Helen Keller tonight and I just printed out a huge list of HK jokes, so this day never really had a prayer.

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind I had a dream last...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:41:13 -0500

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind

I had a dream last night that I sang Alicia Keys’ part on this song. We released the video (where I also danced) and everyone was like, “WHO IS THAT WHITE GIRL WITH SO MUCH SOUL.” And then Jay decided he wanted to leave Beyonce for me because he was so attracted to my talent. BUT John Mayer got to me first and the paparazzi wouldn’t leave us alone while we were eating tacos and making out in the corner of La Esquina.

The Woman is S.T. Ruggling

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:15:00 -0500

[My mom was in rare form when drunk dialed me and Pete last night.]
me: Well hello there, little miss.
Mom [sounding pathetic]: Hi.
me: How hungover are you?
Mom: Genna. I’m dying.
me: You were out of control last night.
Mom: I had to put the passenger seat all the way down and I was completely out by the time we got home.
me: Good lord woman.
Mom: Guess what. We met this couple whose son is an executive producer on The Office.
me: I know, we talked about it extensively last night.
Mom: Oh. I wish I could remember what their last name was.
me: Sullivan. Do you remember calling Pete a little bitch?
Mom: WHAT!? I did not.
me: Yes you did. You were on speaker.
Mom: What did I say?
me: You told him that you and Papa thought he was a really good person and said you were happy that we were together. And then you said, 'I’m just kidding, you’re a little bitch.'
Mom: Oh. Well...he must have been acting like a little bitch.

After the Longest Day in the History of Days, I am going home to...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:40:00 -0500

After the Longest Day in the History of Days, I am going home to put on obscenely large sweatpants, order expensive takeout and settle in for the night with this cinematic masterpiece.

Let’s just say that if “around” turns out to be true, I feel very, very sorry for Pete.

Oscar’s Wedding Pics A few notes: Pete does not mess...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:47:00 -0500

Oscar’s Wedding Pics

A few notes:

Pete does not mess around at weddings. The boy can dance.
My hair alone should have been a bridesmaid.
The groom got down harder than anyone else.
OF COURSE my mom made Oscar high-five her on the way out.

(Photo credit: Erin Sage)

Tumblr just sent me an email to let me know that today is my...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:33:00 -0500

Tumblr just sent me an email to let me know that today is my blog’s birthday. I can’t believe I’ve been oversharing on the internet for two full years.

I know I haven’t been posting as much lately, but its because I’ve had a lot of (great) offline stuff monopolizing every second of my time. Things are starting to calm down, so just mentally prepare for pictures of cute and/or fat babies, conversations with my ridiculous mother and scenes from the sin bin that Pete reads too late to make me take down.

And to you, Internet friends, thank you so much for reading. Now that my blog is old enough to throw temper tantrums, shit is about to get real.

Hey, how was your Sunday? Mine was fine. My best friends and I...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:03:00 -0500

Hey, how was your Sunday? Mine was fine. My best friends and I had a hipster emo brunch and journaled in our Moleskine notebooks, did wall sits in the East Village, had a Justin Bieber dance party, and then did a jeggings routine to piss off Kate, who had too much sangria to go with us to buy them at Urban Outfitters. Tonight we are having a Final Rose Ceremony with homemade pizza. I hate my dumb friends.

John Mayer - Heartbreak Warfare See you in a couple of hours,...

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:01:28 -0500

John Mayer - Heartbreak Warfare

See you in a couple of hours, d-bag. (Can’t wait!)

jhnmyr: NYC. Rainy Tuesday. I know John Mayer is a certified...

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:43:00 -0500

jhnmyr: NYC. Rainy Tuesday.

I know John Mayer is a certified asshole, but I’m not going to lie to you people. I’m ridiculously excited about his concert tonight. I know the whole “but he’s a phenomenal singer and guitar player” argument isn’t valid anymore. I don’t really care what he said about Jennifer Aniston or Jessica Simpson, but his racist comments were fundamentally unacceptable.

All of that being said, we bought these tickets six months ago and I’m sure as hell going to scream my heart out to each and every word tonight. He is one of my all-time favorite artists, and his songs have gotten me through many bumpy flights and were the soundtrack to a lot of important drives with the windows down. Continuum came out right before I met Pete, and it will forever remind me of driving around Atlanta and falling in love.

So there, I said it. My name is Genna and I still love John Mayer. But I’m going to scream “Douchebag!” if there happens to be a quiet moment at Madison Square Garden tonight.

Work is INSANE today. Like “I’m really close to...

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:08:00 -0500

Work is INSANE today. Like “I’m really close to initiating some workplace violence” insane. And my mom keeps emailing me live updates from her optometrist appointment. This email was preceded by one titled: Just Got Dilated.

Sin Bin: I'm Ruining Him Edition

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:11:00 -0500

Pete: [humming while sweeping the floor]
me: What song is that?
Pete: I don't know.
me: It sounds super familiar.
Pete: I think it's the theme to SportsCenter.
me: No...I wouldn't know that.
Pete: I'm not sure what it is.
me: This is going to drive me crazy. [start humming to try to figure it out]
Pete: OKAY FINE! It's the theme song to Guiliana & Bill. Now drop it.

"Find the bronzed Bilbo Baggins receptionist at People’s Rev and be with him when he gets his third..."

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:12:00 -0500

“Find the bronzed Bilbo Baggins receptionist at People’s Rev and be with him when he gets his third Britney tattoo. (I’m hoping for “Lucky” lyrics somewhere on/near the lower torso.)”

- ~Email from Mrs. Loafers with the subject line: Mission for You

MISSION ACCEPTED.

Funny or Die: Bobby Bottleservice “A dragon raping a lion...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 16:25:00 -0500

Funny or Die: Bobby Bottleservice

“A dragon raping a lion on a skateboard.”

PS: PG-rated readers might want to cut off the video at 3:00. IT IS SO HARD BEING A ROLE MODEL.

Sin Bin: Breakfast Chat

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:49:00 -0500

me: Hey babe, I forgot to tell you that I dropped a ponytail holder in the toilet yesterday and didn’t know what to do, so I just left it there and went to work.
Pete: Hey babe, I forgot to tell you that I had to reach my hand into the mothereffing toilet and pull out a ponytail holder yesterday when I got back from work.
me: I forgot to tell you that I love you!
Pete: I forgot to tell you that I hid the rest of your ponytail holders from you!

A Few of My Favorite Things

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:45:00 -0500

I’ve recently discovered a few items that have changed my life, and I feel it’s my civic duty to inform you of them.

Hair Vitamins from Phyto

I think you’re all aware by now that after I made the Worst Decision in the History of Decisions, about a third of my hair fell out in the process of going back to blonde. A friend recommended that I try Phyto vitamins, so I bought them but had some compliance issues. In that I opened the bottle, decided it smelled like fish and threw it in the back of the cabinet for almost a year. About a month ago I decided to try again (this time consistently) and my hair feels stronger, healthier and is definitely on its way back to its original thickness. They aren’t cheap - $50 for a two month supply, but I have found them to be worth every penny. Even if you don’t have hair trauma in your past, I would recommend these – my lashes grew longer, my nails got stronger and I lost 45 pounds in a week.

Keurig Coffee Maker

I’ve bought my coffee every single day since the day I moved to New York. I know it’s the first thing financial analysts tell you to give up when you’re trying to save money, but to those people I say, “I dare you to say that to me at 8 am on a Tuesday before I’ve visited my best friend Kahn at Dunkin Donuts.” When I moved downtown, I realized that the coffee from the hole-in-the wall shops was even better, and Pete realized that I was slowly trying to bankrupt him. It was time to make the switch to making it at home. Pete doesn’t drink coffee and acts like a sip will send him into anaphylactic shock, so I was flying solo on this mission. Keurig is a little more of an investment on the front end, but I swear to Oprah, this coffee machine is absolutely perfect for one person (or a couple if your boyfriend isn’t a little girl who’s afraid of caffeine). You turn it on, the water heats up for about 30 seconds, you pop in a K-cup, and get a single cup of coffee – without any cleanup. I was worried the coffee would be disgusting, but there are tons of different varieties (Caribou!) and I love almost all of them.

Lash Tinting

This isn’t a recent discovery – I’ve been doing it since I was 15, but I feel like it’s time to go public. I have light coloring and hair, so my lashes have always been super blonde. Borderline albino if we’re being honest. BUT for just $30 they get dyed jet-black every two months and I look like I’m wearing mascara all the time. This truly is one of the best kept beauty secrets I’ve ever come across, and people are always shocked when I tell them. Most spas have it on their “menu” – and it’s a simple process: they put some Vaseline around your eyes to prevent the dye from leaking, you close your eyes, and they paint on the dye and let it sit for 10-15 minutes (you have to keep your eyes closed). They wipe it off with cotton balls or Q-tips (it sometimes stings just a little when the leftover gets in your eyes) and you’re done! It’s so great for the summer, when I spend a lot of time at the lake and in the pool. And for year-round when I don’t want to look like the monk from the Da Vinci Code.

Urban Outfitters BDG Jeggings

My sister let me in on this one and pulled the blinders off over a Christmas break trip to Urban Outfitters. This discovery was a little bit depressing because I felt like I had wasted 25 years of my life wearing real jeans. You mean I don’t have to have rug burn on my stomach from sitting at my desk all day? These things have a button, zipper, front and back pockets and no one will know that I’m wearing pajamas? They eliminate any muffin top-related issues with minimal risk of camel? You’re telling me these cost a quarter of what I paid for countless pairs of Sevens, Citizens and J Brand? I felt like someone had been tricking me for the majority of my adult life. Urban offers every wash, every length and every waist height of BDG and other brands. The sooner you discover jeggings, THE SOONER YOU WILL BE FREE.

"Recently, the highest court in South Africa handed down a decision ordering the country’s..."

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:52:00 -0500

““Recently, the highest court in South Africa handed down a decision ordering the country’s parliament to extend marriage rights to all gay couples. So just to reiterate, America is now less progressive than South Africa.””

- ~Jon Stewart

This quote has been circulating everywhere today. As it should.