Literally, Genevieve Clare

Anger Management, Revisited

I’m in another one of these moods.  ALL CAPITAL LETTER RAGE.

• I think I’m allergic to my cube and it IS MAKING MY ELBOWS AND ANKLES ITCH.   
• The “shushers” in our open office plan are playing loud youtube videos at their desks and I’M ABOUT TO SHUSH THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.  
• FedEx is a liar and my package has been “in transit” since December 19. DON’T WORRY, FEDEX, I’LL JUST GIVE IT TO HIM NEXT CHRISTMAS.
• The leftover Christmas candy just snuck up on me and jumped into my mouth.  I’m in a chocolate coma and I DON’T EVEN LIKE HAZELNUT.
• Yesterday, everyone was all, “Hey! How was your break? You’re hair looks so blonde.”  And today everyone is all, “QUIT ASKING ME IF FEDEX HAS COME YET.”
• Everyone is sending me emails and texts with hurt feelings about not being funny enough, and I ALREADY TOLD THEM TO JUST GET FUNNIER.

I just had to hang up on a conference call so I didn’t do something I would regret.