December 2009
32 posts
I'm Baaaaack.
I went on vacation in real life and from the internet last week, but I just arrived back in NYC.
It’s cold and rainy, my plane got in late and my checked bag was damaged in transit. I just walked outside and immediately heard an announcement that there are no taxis at LaGuardia, so we’ve been shuffled onto a bus back to Manhattan.
I just smiled to myself when the person next to me...
November 2009
37 posts
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Words of Wisdom by Ginger, Part II
Mom: You should wait until you're 30 to have children.
me: Why?
Mom: Because they ruin your entire life.
WatchScaring the Crap Out of My Mom
I’m home for Thanksgiving and my whole family is out of town for the weekend except for my mom. It’s a rainy day, and my mom has a terrible head cold and is feeling awful (you can hear her sniffling in the video), so I decided to make her feel better by scaring the everliving daylights out of her. Inspiration: Ellen.
This morning, she was showing off...
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Sliding Doors
Scenes-from-my-hood posted something about this a while ago, and thanks to a weird dream last night, I’ve been thinking about the alternate paths my life could have taken if I had made different choices.
In one life… I live in Johannesburg. I work for an international marketing agency and my husband, a professional golfer, is a rookie on the circuit. We spend a few months a year in London and...
“Game on, bitch.”
– ~The Vahalys have started shit-emailing me since I posted about them. This sweetnothing was the email title from Mrs. Vahaly, a darling 4’10” grandmother of two.
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Competitive
Today my dad sent us a forward email with a link to a color/word test. I’ve never seen an email chain that better illustrates the dynamics of my family.
Papa: I scored 88% the first time.
me: My score on the first try is attached [screen shot of my score that reads “Your Score = 100%. You are the MASTER”]. Also, I slept for two hours last night thanks to the pup, so...
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WatchAnnie Playing
I’ve become one of those people that posts videos of their dogs/babies doing boring shit. I wish I was even remotely embarrassed. What? You didn’t know that rats growl? Now I’m embarrassed for you.
We started calling her Annie (like Little Orphan Annie), and have absolutely fallen in love with her - shocking, I know. If we didn’t travel so much and had...
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“OMG, she’s so adorable. She’s running all around the apartment with...”
– ~This dog has turned my boyfriend into a 13 year-old girl. And/or Rachel Zoe.
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Warning
This blog is going to be nothing but puppy pictures for five days, so I won’t blame you if you want to unsubscribe. But Bertha will.
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Videos of Dogs Welcoming Home Soldiers →
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“I would sing it really loud no matter where I was…And I know a couple...”
– ~Jay-Z
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John Mayer feat. Taylor Swift - Half of My Heart
...
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You Can't HANDLE The Truth
me: What are you doing?
Mom: I’m getting ready for my accident trial in court. I have to go.
me: Oh, are you nervous?
Mom: YES, I’M NERVOUS. I want that asshole to pay.
me: But they already cited you and said it was your fault.
Mom: Genna. I know that. But he ran the red light too.
me: I know…but since you were turning left—
Mom: GENNA! SHUT UP. I'm so tired of you and Karen saying that. This is not helping me prepare.
me: Okay, fine.
Mom: I have to go figure out what to wear. I need to look professional, but not too Buckhead Betty. Your father is coming home to take me and he's going to wear a suit.
me: This isn’t like a murder trial. I don’t think the paparazzi are going to photograph you guys walking in and out of the courthouse.
Mom: You are so unsupportive. I have to go. [starts to hang up]
me: Okay, wait!
Mom: What?
me: Drive safely.
Mom: EFF YOU, goodbye.
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Miley & Biggie - Party and Bullshit in the...
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An Open Letter to the Man That Runs the Tasti...
Dear Sir,
When my family goes around the table this Thanksgiving to say what we’re grateful for, your name is going to come up.
I’m grateful that you act like you have no idea who I am each time I walk into your tiny shop five times a week. I’m grateful that we put on a complex theatrical performance night after night – with me pretending to scan the menu on the wall, and you asking if I would...
John Mayer & Taylor Swift's New Song - Half of My... →
Two of my faves - so great.
Shakira feat. T-Pain - She Wolf Remix
(Courtesy...
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Sin Bin: Home Alone Edition
When Pete goes out of town, I tend to act out. I’m not sure why, because I never did these things when I lived by myself, but I’m telling you, it’s not pretty.
I do things like eat six Larabars for dinner. And stay up until 4:30 am watching 18 Kids and Counting marathons. I hit snooze twelve times on the alarm clock in the morning (unrelated to the previous item) and am late to work. I spill...
FOMO
I have been raging for essentially three weeks straight. It finally got the best of me and I started feeling under the weather this morning. I have a cross-country business trip next week, so I felt like I should at least attempt to stave off the swine flu, and made a responsible decision to skip Halloween. I sent my little Brad (see below) on his merry - no seriously, he was alarmingly...