August 2008
28 posts
Juice Support Group
BFF: what are you going to have for breakfast on thursday? fruit?
Me: yeah, either fruit or a pizza
BFF: well it's 5pm, today is basically over. i need to remember the high i had this morning.
Me: shut up.
Me: im tired of your positivity. i couldn't even get the office key in the bathroom door. my eye/hand coordination is off because I'm lightheaded.
BFF: hahaha. i want a chocolate chip cookie
Me: i want to kill someone
BFF: i want to kill you for inflicting this on me. this is your fault
Me: people are eating all over the office and every bone in my body wants to HIT THEM IN THE FACE
BFF: i know me too.
BFF: seriously, when it's really bad, chug water through a straw, it helps
Me: seriously, SHUT UP. that is not helpful
Exactly. →
Apple Juice Rage
I’m on Day 2 of a three day juice fast, so I’m going to try to refrain from blogging until I’m done tomorrow night. After my bad Diet Coke-induced rant, I’m afraid of what I might say.
“I don’t know, if the terrorists used fireworks, that’d be a little...”
– Brandon in response to my question if he thought the noise we heard on the rooftop was terrorism.
HOPKINS
Is the best show on television. It’s about the doctors and patients at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, and I haven’t seen anything this great in a very long time.
Tanks.
Me: I just posted something on your Fbook wall that I am 90% sure is one of our inside jokes. Go look at it because if it means nothing to you, I need to take it down immediately.
BFF: I just got it and I have no idea what you’re talking about. But you’re definitely leaving that shit up.
Me: OMG, so ginny.
Me: Meant funny. AIMing on the iPhon is out of cinttil.
Me: Ahhh, meant control.
BFF: Why don’t you get your act together and then attempt to communicate with me again.
Me: Sorry, 3 iced coffees today. Tanks for your time.
What To Do When You See A Poor Person Beating A... →
Hall and Oates - Rich Girl
My brother has a sassy little blog about what he... →
Turns Out Pigeons Can Smell Fear AND Read Blogs
BFF, remember last night when you came over and I said I thought there was bird shit on one of my pillows? And you looked at me weird, said it must be dirt and then we left for our walk? Well…THERE WAS BIRD SHIT ON MY PILLOW. Workers changed the grates outside my windows yesterday (in a feeble attempt to adhere to fire code) and apparently let an EFFING BIRD into my bedroom. And I unwittingly...
Giddy
Walking home and the first signs of fall are in the air right now.
2 tags
Penny Pinching
Lately I’ve been holding my breath when I sign into my online bank account. I realized the cost of living in NYC and my lifestyle were bitch slapping each other, so I decided to make some changes. I started by sticking it to the Man. The Man being Starbucks. This ridiculous golden child of corporate greed recently started suffering financially, so I decided to kick a dead horse when it’s...
2 tags
Into the Wild
I watched Into the Wild last night (no thanks to Netflix, rented it on cable), and found the idea pretty interesting. I remember thinking my brother was crazy for doing a NOLS trip to Colorado when we were in high school. And confirmed he was crazy when he came back only having showered once in a lake for two months. But after this movie, I can see there’s something to be said for the beauty...
I’m Sorry, Send Me Season 3, Disc 5 of Party of...
Dear Netflix, My patience is unexpectedly down. You did receive two DVDs back from me, but you likely haven’t shipped me a damn thing in eight days. That goal is insufficient and do not send me another email until the status is that you’ve just shipped me every season of any and all late 90’s family television dramas. You have no idea how inconvenient it is for me to have to read books at...
Create Your Own Someecard is the best thing that's... →
2 tags
She's Back, Y'all
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love Britney Spears. Like legitimately love her. I always have. Theoretically, I learned every dance to her songs (including the Saturday Night Live remix to Oops I Did It Again), went to four of her concerts, and got a tattoo when I was 17 because the tattoo artist had a picture of him giving Brit the fairy on her lower back and I thought it was a sign....
Can Pigeons Smell Fear?
Pigeons have been the hardest thing for me to get used to about living in New York. Clearly I’m missing the gene that allows the rest of the city to meander by them without flinching. Or perhaps I’m unintentionally releasing some kind of avian signal that requires every single one of those flying rats to divebomb my head. Either way, I would say I scream bloody murder on the sidewalk...