June 2008
13 posts
Would You Rather Tuesday
me: have you seen the video of that ball girl catching that fly ball?
me: i just sent it to you
BFF: omg
BFF: that is unbelievable!!!!
me: i know, she’s such a little badass
BFF: i mean, she leapt like a little frog to catch that sucker
me: would you rather have your legs totally covered in cellulite, or have a permanent triple chin?
BFF: does it mean my legs are fat
BFF: or just fatty
me: fat.
BFF: how fat
BFF: whatev, i am going to choose legs regardless.
me: BUT if you have the chin, the rest of your body will be bangin’
BFF: triple chin is not something you can look past
me: ok fine.
BFF: would you rather have to run five miles every morning at 7am for the rest of your life, or have to eat 35 mini packs of mayonnaise before bed every night (but would not have to deal with the calories)
BFF: and you can't brush your teeth after
BFF: you just have to go to bed
me: ewwwwwwwwwww. that's impossible. i guess run.
me: ew.
me: would you rather be missing both of your front teeth OR walk with a slight limp for the rest of your life?
BFF: slight limp. DEF. a limp is kind of endearing
BFF: and unique
me: not this kind of limp
me: it's like a toes pointed in limp
BFF: THAT IS NOT SLIGHT
BFF: you can't make it worse now that you laid it out.
BFF: that's cheating. you are changing it again
me: well you should have asked for CLARIFICATION.
BFF: still, i choose the limp
BFF: i'll say it was a ballet accident
me: touché.
Overheard (last night outside the Irish pub on my...
Nervous Guy: Well structurally, it was designed as a friendly outing. But I can see how it could be construed as a date if you're looking at it out of context.
Pissed Off Girl: Well structurally, you can go fuck yourself. In every context.
3 tags
Old Balls
I recently realized that I am getting old. These were the clues:
I have become obsessed with the weather.
I actually said the words, “$12.50? Are you kidding me? I remember when a movie cost $3,” when I bought my Sex and the City ticket.
My to do list last week included the following item: “Increase 401K contribution.”
I’m old enough to babysit Zac Efron.
I remember to bring a...
Welcome Back
I was only in Spain for a week, but apparently a lot has changed since I left.
1. This turned out to be true. I hate New York again.
2. The toxic mold growing behind the paint on my bedroom wall seems to be thriving in the heat.
3. Denise Richards has her own reality show. And it’s amazing.
4. Hillary’s out and Lindsay’s a lesbian.
5. My iPhone will soon be obsolete.
...
