April 2008
19 posts
Someecards
I love someecards. But my friends do not because I started sending them one (five) a day like a year ago, so I decided to write a few of my own to change things up.
To my brother: I wish you would stop updating me on my cell phone overage charges.
To my friend’s new girlfriend: Let’s make awkward small talk at the bar until we get blackout and hold hands while dancing to Timbaland.
To...
I’m not the only who likes to blog about the... →
Cynthia: You totally learned the Miley Cyrus dance, didn’t you?
Me: NO, Cynthia, oh my God. No.
Me: Okay, yes.
“Oh, you wanted Diet Coke? I heard ‘Diet’ but I also heard...”
– Hands down, the best explanation I’ve ever heard from a waiter who mistakenly brought me a regular Coke.
Awksfest 2k8: 23rd Street Backfire
While running errands yesterday, I witnessed an amazingly awkward dude to dude encounter on the sidewalk. A guy in front of me recognized his friend and they stopped to say hello to each other. One went in for a handshake and one went in for the bearhug. The result was a palpably awkward jumble of fingers jabbing into stomachs, uncomfortable apologies and quick pivots to get away from each...
That's Why I Married You
BFF: okay i legit might die from this sinus infection
BFF: if i do you can have my cute high-waisted black skirt that i haven't worn yet
BFF: and you can have the planet earth dvds, since you gave them to me
me: okay, also i would like your bedding
BFF: i wish we were sitting on a beach somewhere right now
me: would you rather be zip car-ing through Napa or on a beach in North Carolina?
BFF: napa
me: me too
BFF: would you rather be 30 lbs overweight for your entire life but have unlimited access to the cutest designer clothes out there whenever you want OR be trim and in shape but have to buy every. single. outfit. (wedding included) at wal mart?
me: wal-mart. totes.
BFF: how about if you had to have a glass eye
me: you can't just throw in a glass eye
BFF: can too.
Disturbing Newsfeeds
I remember when Fbook profile pictures of my friends posing in their bathing suits or holding booze annoyed me. Now, an alarming number of profile pictures are of them posing in a wedding dress or holding their offspring. Bring back the bikinis and Bud Light, people.
I (secretly) Heart NY
Someone told me this weekend that my blog is mainly about how awful New York is and all of the bad experiences I’ve had here, so I want to clear something up.
I love New York. This city is incredible, unlike anywhere else in the world, and I feel lucky to have it all at my fingertips. It’s the epicenter of business, media, entertainment, commerce. I’m surrounded by the people who make the...
A REALLY Inconvenient Truth
So all I’ve heard about lately is how miserable the summer is in New York. I keep thinking that someone’s going to say, “No, really it’s not that bad,” but the consensus is that the city turns into a hellish sauna of heat and body odor from June through September.
I’ve had several breakdowns here, but this one was by far the funniest. When the temperature peaked above 70 yesterday, I started...
Ok fine, I will NEVER complain about the NYC... →
MIA
I haven’t posted anything in a while because New York just wasn’t that funny or ironic last week, and then I went home for a few days. It was so wonderful to see my family, inhale breathable air, cook delicious meals in big kitchens with my friends, and drive around in an SUV with the windows down.
But I’m back in the city, so I’m sure to be injured or accosted in some way very soon and I’ll...