December 2008
25 posts
Dave
I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut around arrogant people. I have an undeniable physical need to knock them down a notch, even when I know I should just bite my tongue.
This happened recently when my roommate and I tried to break onto our building’s roof deck via fire escape, only to discover that it was owned by particularly overconfident guy named Dave.
After a friendly chat on the roof...
1 tag
Getting Contacts
Nurse 1: She has the strongest eyelids I've ever seen. I cannot get these in there!
me: I'm so sorry, I swear I can't help it.
Nurse 2: I tried too. We're going to have to get Dr. Shida.
Dr. Shida: Step aside, ladies. I'll get this on the first try.
[unsuccessfully tries to shove a contact in my eye seventeen times]
Dr. Shida: Holy crap, I've never seen anything like this.
Nurse 1: That's not true, there was that woman a couple of weeks ago who was even worse.
Nurse 2: That was her mother.
“crime rates + cleveland, ohio”
– —what I just found in my Google search bar after my dad borrowed my computer
(My little brother is moving to Cleveland in a couple of weeks.) Adorable. I can only imagine his search engine when I told him I was moving to NYC.
4 tags
4:41 am
A day and a half later, wheels down at Hartsfield Jackson. Thank you little baby Jesus.
PS: I HATE YOU.
I wish I had that digital camera so I could show you how livid I am right now. I hate you, Santa, I hate you, FAA, I hate you, New York City. I HATE CHRISTMAS.
See you never, Atlanta.
2 tags
Dear Santa and the FAA,
I just wanted to give you both the heads up that I am going to be one of those crazy people that sobs uncontrollably in airports if I get snowed into New York today.
Please, please, please make sure my flight to Atlanta this afternoon gets out. I realize 6-10 inches is a lot, but it’s almost 2009. I’m sure we have mechanisms that can clear that for one flight.
Also, I would also...
2 tags
If I ever have to become a suburban mom, I want to... →
1 tag
Engagement on Facebook: Lame Rating Scale
You get engaged and…
Are on Facebook: *
Change your relationship status to ‘engaged’: **
Change your relationship status to ‘engaged’ within 12 hours of the proposal: ***
Post an album with pictures of the proposal: ****
Title the above album ‘Should’ve Put a Ring On It’: *****
Wilson Phillips - Hold On
I’ve implemented...
Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Carol of the Bells
...
WatchIt’s Britney, Bitch. (Rough cut of ‘Circus’)
You already know how much I love her. I’ve been scared to comment on her blitzkrieg comeback over the last couple of weeks because I didn’t want to jinx her. She’s still got a ways to go, but I think we can safely say that she’s back.
Spin Cycle
Communal laundry is not all that different from Survivor. It’s a nasty game and the only person you can really trust is yourself. And nowhere prepares you how to go to battle better than college. After an unfortunate incident involving residual bleach my freshman year, I quickly learned how to play the game:
Always set a timer so you get there before the buzzer and your stuff doesn’t end up in...
A few of my favorite things before 10 am:
So far, I love December.
Waking up and not feeling tired.
Walking outside to find that it’s neither cold nor rainy.
No line at Dunkin.
Taking a taxi to work. (What? There was a subway terrorist alert last week.)
Getting a cabbie that plays BBC News.
Realizing that it’s Christmas in New York.