It’s been another long day at work. I was on a conference call until 3:45 pm, so I just got around to ordering lunch – two smoothies, because that’s what I wanted and one isn’t enough when you eat lunch at 4 pm (or any time). I drank them back to back, entirely too fast, to the point where I was shaking uncontrollably and my lips were shivering. But don’t worry! I had the perfect solution for this. There is a radiator in the women’s bathroom that is always on too high, and whenever I’m freezing, I go in there and act like I’m sitting by the fire. This is New York, people. Don’t judge me.
The radiator is in a corner and the backside is the part that releases all the heat, so I sort of had to huddle/straddle it to raise my core body temperature back to normal. We share the bathroom with other businesses on our floor and you have to use a key to get in, so you can hear someone coming. Therefore, I was fully prepared to pretend to start washing my hands if someone came in. Spoiler alert: This doesn’t end well.
I heard a key rattling, so I stood up quickly to turn around to the sink. BUT my pants leg got caught on the nozzle and turned it on full blast right as the woman walked in. I started screaming and trying to free myself as hot steam shot up my ankle and calf, while the rest of my body molested the radiator. The woman gasped and then promptly ran out of the bathroom as fast as she could. I screamed bloody murder for about 30 seconds and eventually wriggled my way free. I think we’re only dealing with a superficial burn wound.
So, I’m definitely ending up in the elevator with that woman on the way out tonight.
Also, Kate’s dad is taking us to see a Broadway play about Helen Keller tonight and I just printed out a huge list of HK jokes, so this day never really had a prayer.
4 days ago
